real time with jacob

Self Harm

One of many topics I don’t like to write about but to reflect and learn, I must face the truth of my self-harm to understand my bad habits and replace them with more healthy coping mechanisms.

Many years ago, I started using two mechanisms that helped me stay away from cutting. The first is drawing on my skin. My problem is mostly feeling numb, thus the pressure and the sensation of a marker on my skin wakes my brain up and helps me connect with my body. Also, it’s a replica of cutting without the harm. The second is wearing an elastic band on my arm a little higher than my wrist, and snapping it when I sense the urge to hurt myself because of the extreme self-directed anger. That as well wakes my brain and my body and creates a connection between the two. Plus, it simulates pain without causing serious injury.

There are many other ways to cope but I will leave it to the experts to discuss that.

Self-harm is a sensitive subject for me and difficult to talk about. It triggers feelings of shame, pain, guilt, self-hate, body image issues, and confusion. It’s a matter I still deal with to this day; a glitch in my brain that requires constant reprogramming.


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.