real time with jacob

After Therapy Ends

One good thing about online therapy, you can go back to the notes of your session. Re-read them. Learn something new about yourself. Note something new you might have missed.

Six weeks have passed and here I am rereading the notes realizing I cannot escape and delete my life. One stepping stone leads to another and I’m in this constant progression, no matter how much it may feel that I have fallen backward, have failed in my day, have faltered in my attempt. It’s a struggle but also grace. Grace in terms of compassion. Learn to accept me. Learn to let go of things. Learn to move forward from defeat. Learn to move through the things I cannot control.

So, what have I been doing since the CBT program ended? I made a schedule to keep practicing the techniques I learned. Even when days seem dark and hollow, I try to push through. Attending the support groups, writing, and listening to nature sounds keeps me grounded and calm. The biggest challenge is keeping with the routine and the schedule. I’m still working on being more physically active, which I hate to do, but I promised my wife to take even if a ten-minute walk a day. If anything, she drags me out so I can at least dip my toes into the cold and the arctic air.

Despite challenges, ups-and-downs, I have been doing okay. Better than 18 weeks ago when my thoughts were spiraling out and I couldn’t tell what was real anymore. Tracking my progress, reviewing my status, and at times keeping a daily journal of what I have done and/or felt throughout the day helps me understand where I’m at. It brings me to the present and reality.

Practice of the Week:

Keep an Activity Monitor for a day or a week and reflect on how you spend your time. Record your activities within a block of time (let’s just say intervals of an hour or two) and rate your mood on a scale from one (negative) to 10 (positive).

This exercise was an eye-opener for me. And this would be one of the practices I still do when in the funk to see what makes me feel positive and what makes me feel negative and reflect what changes I can make to feel more positive.

The point of it is to increase activities that make you feel positive and reprogram your behaviour.

2 thoughts on “real time with jacob

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