real time with jacob


The purpose of therapy is not to be perfect, grammatical or otherwise, like as a perfect human, but to spill without worrying about the edges, syntax, and floor tiles. It’s going to get messy, incoherent, relentless, and unedited. And this is basically me unedited. Well, it’s not entirely correct because we all still filter the information we share but this is as unedited as I can be. I write as if no one was reading. I write with randomness, inconsistency, mess, and grammatical incorrectness. So, forgive me all literature and psychology majors because I know that you all have been drilled that grammar is the most important thing in your research papers. Believe me, I’ve taken some of those courses and the most criticism I got was for my grammar, specifically punctuations and articles. Bah humbug. All gibberish. I always thought the idea, the content, the message are the most important thing, but apparently, it’s not, unless you are a patient. The content becomes important and not how it’s displayed and communicated, may it be through slurs, tears, broken thoughts. Order and rules of language go out the window. But eventually, even the mess needs to be put together and that’s what therapy does, helps you organize. May it be not perfect as the grammar laws but sound enough to be measured, diagnosed, and understood.

Believe me, there were times when the floor tiles got soiled with tears and vomit; when the journal page got attacked with anger and pain; when lines got blurred or black and thick; when nothing made sense. But that doesn’t matter because when you’re unedited, the truth comes out. The reality of you gets a little clearer. The wounds get cleansed with some hydrogen peroxide. And it may sting and burn, but then, finally, the healing begins.

So, be unedited, raw, and true you.

No. I’m not trying to be inspiring. Simply honest.

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