personal blog: simon

it took a moment for me to collect myself and make my way home. seeing Bryan spun me to Kevin, only because I’m selfish. the guilt of breaking Kevin’s heart put on pause because my fears are more important. my fears of the nightfall and the silence. I don’t want to be alone and I don’t want to be a burden. it’s easier to be delusional and play fetch with Kevin’s feelings, if only for a second… and I know it’s wrong. there was a tiny hope.

the realtor came by during the day and exchanged the SOLD sign on the window. it is final. the agreement went through. a month to find a new place, to find myself, to determine my life; but I am void, like a hole of darkness and I don’t even care if I end up on the streets again. to some extend it’s freeing to be outside of social order, make my own rules, caring only to be fed and kept warm and clean. the three things of commodities to worry about. none of this Gucci bags and Calvin Klein suits. it’s a survival and it gave me adrenaline to live. now, I’m coasting and barely so.

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read more: ← tuesday 19:07 • tuesday 22:21 →

© simon whittle — second act