personal blog: simon

“may I interrupt?” a voice comes from behind us. a familiar voice. soft and gentle. not in a slight intrusive.

Jacob swings first to face the voice.

I follow.

“hey.” Jacob reaches to grab the man’s hand. “you remember Bryan?” he turns to me to inquire.

my blood leaves my body. if I am falling into old patterns with Jacob, then I am doomed around Bryan. it’s not like I would have not expected his attendance. where there was Jacob, there was Bryan. it was inevitable. the only thing. I completely forgot that.

I stand in silence.

“Simon,” Jacob utters my name with enthusiasm and like I need introduction.

“yeah. I remember.” Bryan says without being asked. a faint grin, raised brow, and an immediate dismissal of my existence entirely.

“Alice’s wondering if you’re okay.” Bryan states the purpose of his appearance and interrupts my inner freak-out.

“yeah… we’ll be right in.” Jacob reassures.

a smile. that fucking smile. and with that Bryan disappears.

“he hates me.” how my mind jumps to the negative.

“I doubt it.” Jacob returns a smile.

“then that was a very subtle welcome.” my morose observation.

“he’s just a little fragile right now.” as if that would have any meaning and my mind goes to overdrive, screaming. ‘why?’ ‘because of me?’…

“okay.” I simply mutter.

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© simon whittle — second act