i couldn’t fight
i couldn’t burrow through bitter snow
my mind was corrosive, too
under the blanket it waged its war
struck me down and held me pinned
face to the ground
suffocating, barely any air to breathe
like the rusted nail submerging to the bottom of the cove
there might have been beauty all around
but all i saw was a dying self
decomposing and barely there
no strength to be someone else’s guiding light
i was weak, frightened, and unsure
don’t forget
you didn’t share
i didn’t know
the logic dictated to let you be
mend your wounds and give you time
why did i had to fight?
why did i had to hold that bridge?
all on my own without a guide
there are two sides
multiple piers that hold it up
and i was a single pivot spiraling out
i needed support
i couldn’t be brave
the warrior, the soldier you bluntly said
forge the pillars for you and myself
love takes two, not a one
love takes strength and guts
not a broken self
not a broken heart
and most definitely
not a corrosion that would eat both apart

© jacob greb — from lovers’ tiff: a ballad