maddening routine

i pray and cry
the pills ease the morning
the nights turn to a desperate hell
the spot next to me, empty
and i coil in disbelief
how can this be?
loneliness is my new friend
i have made good with the pain, my enemy
well, at least the numbness makes it bearable
what is there left to feel?
i rely on these lies to live
but it’s all the same
it’s all the same routine
the harvest has been reaped
the grass all fed, gone for the season
the anguish of hunger and disease
the reminder that remains
of your scent, of your breath
of your voice as the telephone rings
the end of summer and the sun
the rainbows turn grey and disappear
but my mind keeps on spinning
the madness that it produces and receives
the food doesn’t taste the same
the love songs lost their meaning
and sad ones are best left in the gutter
no more sleep
days bleed and i miss you
but then the anger overturns my thoughts
and nothing makes sense
the reality becomes a dim light
and i close my eyes only to think of us
and i pray and cry
all the same
all in the maddening routine

© jacob greb — from lovers’ tiff: a ballad

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