after effects

fear and qualm
where has peace run away to?
we have set new rules
how do i contain my feelings without breaking into pieces?
how does one disengage from love after the exploration is complete?
the attraction
the addiction
utter my name in confidence and let me falter
don’t break my heart and don’t let it wither away
from this pain
the enigma that sets as fog
put me back as a whole as the seams perforate
the savior that parachutes in my hour of need
but then the emptiness seeps
cower in a corner and scream
i’m unloved and you’re insensitive
no matter the truth
what lies in my head will remain as real
although i’m drowning in your love
never the same before the abyss
the bottomless chasm of your kindness and mirth
chaos and doubt
myself, a fuzzy reflection, duplicity
the aftereffect of your otherworldly touch
i did not restrict
let you conquer my body, my sin
at first i was at peace
and now i cry without a pause
a disease

© simon whittle — from lovers’ tiff: a ballad

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