❤️

.i love you mother
.you were my breath
.you were my heart ♥
.you gave me life
.you gave me hope
.you pushed me to be proud
.you were strong and you were tough
.you cursed me with the guilt thinking you were always right
.i fell to your demands
.i fell under your spell
.and i became small
.and became scared
.unable to keep at your stride
.unable to tell the truth of who i was becoming
.unravelling fast
.but i love you mother
.i love you even when you are unkind
.the words can be like glass
.break and cut
.hurt and heal
.encourage and fight
.and we fought
.bitter and through winter
.in silence and with eyes
.you were my judge
.you were my sadness and my doubts
.the loss of self
.the loss of your love when it was unkept
.and ruling
.and demanding
.but i love you mother even through all of that
.but i love you even if of equal stare you couldn’t give the love back
.your love was hard
.misplaced
.misunderstood
.because i always have to be the best
.be better
.be less of me and more of you
.i cannot keep up
.here’s my blood
.here’s my pain
.here i am
.a residue of me
.all broken and imperfect
.here i am the all that i can be
.will you accept that as enough
.because i love you mother
.and for a moment i need you to address that i am real
.that i am your son
.that i make you proud
.even a speck that i am
.even in the tiniest regard

❤️

.jacob g
.from “fortune teller” collection
.18

.when you want the most for someone you need to love you back